“You’re a three decker saurkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce.” ~ Dr. Seuss

 

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch  

“You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You’re as cuddly as a cactus,
You’re as charming as an eel.” ~ All lyrics from “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch,” by Dr. Seuss

Well, I’m back. We lost cable/Internet service. Something about wanting payment. Not really sure what that is. Anyway . . . 
You would think that after all of these many days away from my blog that I would have oodles to say. Funny, but I don’t. I mean, as soon as the Internet went out, I immediately wanted to blog. How typical of me—to want so keenly what I do not have, only to feel imposed upon by it once it returns. 

Actually, let me apologize in advance. I am terribly bitchy today, as I was yesterday, which is why I did not attempt post last night. I knew that anything that I wrote would only be a long diatribe on how awful things are, so I begged off until today, only to find that things are more awful today. 

Let me explain: Yesterday was one of my infrequent sojourns out of the house. Corey and I went to Target to pick up cards and stocking stuffers, as well as various other sundries. By the time that we got to the register, Corey was really foul—scowling, impatient, the works. It made me feel as if I had committed some egregious sin against humanity. 

Of course, part of it was that he wasn’t feeling well, but the larger part is that Corey just isn’t a Christmas person. Try as I might to infuse some of my love for the season into him, he just throws up this wall that doesn’t come down until well into the new year. I understand that not everyone is jolly about Christmas, but just a little ho, ho, ho instead of harumph and humbug would be nice. 

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You’re a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.

Today, however, the foulness has bounced back onto me. I went into the garage to try to find some Christmas supplies, such as the wide ribbon that I use on the tree. I swear that I saw it less than a month ago in that hell hole that we call a garage, but now it has totally disappeared.  Then I made the mistake of opening some bags that were never put away after last Christmas, only to find that all of my wrapping paper, decorative tissues and gift bags have been ruined by moisture and mold. 

I’m not talking a few rolls and ten or so bags. I mean rolls and rolls of beautiful paper that I have amassed in after-Christmas sales, bags that I have picked out especially for certain family members to match their distinct personalities, and beautiful foil and decorated tissue paper. It just broke my heart. Truly. 

What breaks my heart even more is how I have always been so insistent upon storing Christmas paraphernalia so carefully: plastic tubs for ornaments, house decorations, lights, wrapping stuff, and the tree. Last year because Corey had torn down part of the attic when he was working on the garage, nothing was put back into storage properly. 

So even though the tree is up and decorated, little else can be done. I don’t even feel like decorating the outside of the house, even though I found the lights. I know. I’m having a huge pity party, and once again, I should be thinking about what we do have, but it is so hard sometimes. So hard not to feel completely down and bereft. So hard not to wish that I could do more, lift the kind of weight that I used to be able to lift.  

When I was working retail, I was incredibly strong for my size. I routinely lifted four-way racks filled with clothes from one spot on the floor to another several feet away. I carried bundles of clothes several feet high. It kills me that I cannot do this any more.  

I’ll admit it: It seems silly to be upset over the loss of various items that really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but this is how I am. I relish the things that I have bought at bargain prices, stocking them away for the next year. I take great care when I wrap packages, choosing just the right paper, ribbons and bows. It delights me to see the finished products. Oh well. Nothing really to do except bemoan the fate of what has been ruined and get over it. 

I’ll just have to go out when we get back from Ohio and buy new wrapping stuff. With any luck, it will be on sale by then. 

You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You’re the king of sinful sots.
Your heart’s a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots.
 

In other news, my mother fell on Sunday. She was walking up the back steps on her porch when she apparently missed one. Luckily, nothing was broken, but a lot of bruising and soreness. 

Now the really pathetic thing about this situation is that my mother crawled inside and called everyone in the family, and none of us answered. Ask me how horrible I feel . . . 

My phone was by the bed on the nightstand, but the battery was dead. As I have said, this phone is a genuine POS, and it does not hold a charge more than a day or so. Corey’s phone was in the dining room, so we didn’t hear it. Brett was at his friend’s house, and Eamonn was asleep, as was Alexis. Consequently, my mother called 911 and was taken to the hospital in an ambulance. 

I feel so bad for my mother, just imagining how alone and scared she must have felt. She put on a brave front when we got to her house, and I stayed with her, but she wouldn’t let me do anything. I offered to put up one of her Christmas trees and decorate her house, but she said that she really didn’t feel like having a tree up. 

She is feeling better, although the bruising is looking worse as it is apt to do a few days later. Meanwhile, I am back to feeling like a worthless daughter. She didn’t need to say anything as it was so obvious that once again I had let her down. 

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You’re a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse. 

So much to do before we leave Friday afternoon. I had planned to do the wrapping, but that will have to wait until we get back. I’m still mired in paperwork with the pharmaceutical companies and the social security administration. The company that represents me is gearing up for the second appeal, which, apparently, happens before a judge.  At this point, just tell me where to be and what time to be there.  

I realize that disability is a racket, that people who don’t really need to be on disability try to get through the system all of the time. But those of us who genuinely depend upon this have to jump through so many hoops that it boggles the mind. That’s why I just cannot let this part of my life upset me. If it happens, it happens. If not, I’ll move on to the next step. Whatever. 

I desperately need a haircut, so I’m thinking of asking Corey’s sister if she will take care of it while we are in Ohio. I have only let one person take care of my hair for the past 15 years, but frankly, I cannot afford to go to her right now, so maybe I can get it shaped for now as I am so tired of pulling it back into a pony tail. 

To put things in perspective, at least I don’t have a teenager who ran up my cell phone bill by almost $22,000 in one month. Apparently, the California boy downloaded 1.4 million kilobytes of data last month. Busy boy. 

And Senator Joe Lieberman is pulling more of the ‘am I or aren’t I’ stunt that he displayed during the campaign. Apparently, Lieberman is definitely not into helping Capitol Hill Democrats any more. The Senator, who kept his pony chairmanship of the Homeland Security Committee after apologizing to Democrats, is threatening to vote with Republicans on the health care bill. Joe, you are a schmoe. 

Other than those juicy tidbits, not much else going on. With any luck, tomorrow I will be more inspired and less grouchy. 

More later. Peace. 

Mr. Grinch, of course . . . 

  

 

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6 comments on ““You’re a three decker saurkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce.” ~ Dr. Seuss

  1. Sorry about your Mother’s fall, but you shouldn’t feel guilty about it – no-one can be there for anyone 100% of the time.
    I personally think that Christmas has been designed to put us all into such a state of stress that we no longer know what we’re doing, thus making it easier to part with our hard earned cash for things we would never dream of buying on a normal day – things like egg warmers, or leg warmers, or paperweights with pictures of snowmen in.
    But it is nice to see the family again and to test how much food is it organically possible to consume.

    Take care,
    Andrew

    • poietes says:

      Andrew,
      Yes, the food. Musn’t forget the food. I agree that Christmas makes us buy the strangest things, but then again, how else is one supposed to acquire egg warmers?

      We’re are currently in Ohio visiting Corey’s family. The trip was a nightmare. I plan to write about it. But at least we are here, and we are getting ready to consume some of that delicious holiday food.

      Cheers,
      Lita

  2. memphismafia says:

    Sorry to hear about your mom. I can only imagine how she and your family is feeling. The important thing to remember is that she is okay, with no major injury, and that there was nothing you, or the rest of family did wrong. It was an unfortunate set of circumstances, and it’s important that none of you beat yourselves up for it. Just learn from it (and possible replace the POS phone).

    Funny that you mention going to Ohio for Christmas, because I’ll be spending my first Christmas there. My father recently moved there, and we’re all going to pack up and go to the “frozen tundra”. I realize of course that it’s not, but I live in a city that gets snow (maybe) once a year. I did live on the Ohio – West Virginia border for a while, but that was a long time ago now.

    Keep carrying on with all of the Christmas stuff, it’ll get better. Remember the point is togetherness and joy, regardless of what Martha Stewart might want us to believe…

    • poietes says:

      Thank you so much for writing. You don’t always comment, but when you do, it always makes me feel better. I know that I need to chill over Christmas. I started having a minor meltdown today but then told myself to get over myself, and you know what? It worked.

      Yes, the good thing is that she’s okay, and I do have plans to replace the POS very soon.

      Ohio is nice when it snows: I can go out and take pictures. But so frigging cold. Nothing like Hampton Roads, which rarely sees a good snowfall.

  3. Maureen says:

    Hi Lita,
    Firstly, I am so sorry about your mum’s fall and hope that she quickly recovers from her bruises and shock. Don’t feel so guilty. It happened, it wasn’t deliberate and you can’t do anything about it now. Darl, you are always so hard on yourself. Give yourself a break, You have enough on your plate right now.
    I could almost feel your disappointment about the wrapping paper. Like you, post-Christmas I buy up rolls of beautiful paper(which is otherwise beyond my budget) cards and other bits and pieces and feel quite pleased with myself that the next Christmas I will be able to use them. I have been using some rolls of paper that were bought years ago and also recycled paper, that was just too lovely to discard. (that’s me, frugal but never mean LOL).
    D gets the same way as Corey when he comes shopping and I ask myself each time why I even asked him to accompany me?
    Relax, get ready for your trip and forget about appeals etc, if only for a few days. Remember, things are on the up and up for you and your family for 2010!!!!!
    I am meeting a recruiter to interview for another job tomorrow.I have no idea what I am going to wear , so I best go an investigate my ( tired and outdated) wardrobe.
    Big hugs and safe travelling.
    Maureen

    • poietes says:

      Maureen,
      Thanks so much for always offering kinds words and support. I know that wrapping paper, tissue and bags are a stupid thing to get upset over, but I, like you, take such pride in being a bargain shopper and getting beautiful things on sale to use later. I’ll just have to start my collection over. I, too, kept paper that I thought was especially beautiful to reuse.

      Good luck on the job interview. I’m really hoping that it goes well. I’m sure that you will look completely professional whatever you pull out of your closet.
      Hugs,
      Lita

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