Things you notice when you’re sick . . .

How the Grinch Stole Christmas! - christmas-movies Screencap

  1. Swallowing grapes is not so easy.
  2. Making a cup of tea takes a long time when you throw away the tea bag and keep the foil packet.
  3. Knocking said cup of tea over immediately after sitting it down becomes a job for tomorrow.
  4. The dogs decide they need to go outside one an hour, probably just being good care-givers and making sure you can still move.
  5. You (I) can, but very, very slowly.
  6. Chocolate at 2 in the morning doesn’t taste nearly as good as it usually does.
  7. Mucinex liquid was invented by the same descendants of Marquis de Sade who invented the original Nyquil.
  8. If you are able to swallow it, Mucinex feels warm all the way down your esophagus.
  9. This is reassuring as I was pretty certain I had coughed up my esophagus on Friday night.
  10. Cold and flu medications always stop working in the middle of the night.
  11. Alka-Seltzer cold and flu medication needs to be dissolved in hot water and then chased by bourbon.
  12. Just kidding . . . not really . . .
  13. It would have been honey and bourbon and lemon instead of the medicine, but I only had the bourbon.
  14. I switched from second to first person somewhere along the way.
  15. Whatever.
  16. The Christmas cards I started on so eagerly and full of self-satisfaction over a week ago laid on my dining room table until I unearthed them this afternoon.
  17. I unearthed them this afternoon because I felt better and decided to clean.
  18. I always do this.
  19. It always hurts afterwards.
  20. A lot.
  21. It all began because I smelled something, and I wasn’t really sure if it was (pardon the total truth here) my dog’s bad gas, my feet, or the bedroom in general, having been a sick room for three days.
  22. So I needed to change the sheets.
  23. Which meant that I needed to do laundry.
  24. Which took four trips from the hamper to the garage.
  25. I do not have a large house.
  26. It’s a ranch, and the only stairs are in the garage.
  27. I still almost tripped on the stairs.
  28. I remembered to wash the bath mat that I used to sop up the tea I spilled yesterday.
  29. Or was it the day before?
  30. So I finished the Christmas cards and put them out for the mail only to notice that the UPS guy had delivered the shipment of dog food.
  31. It’s a heavy box, and I had used my daily quota of energy on useless things like cleaning and bathing.
  32. So the dog food is still on the porch getting rained on.
  33. I could so not care about the dog food.
  34. I did use my time in bed wisely: I started watching season one of “Orphan Black” on Amazon Prime (connected to my television, woo hoo) on Saturday.
  35. I think it was Saturday.
  36. I finished Sunday morning, and then I debated about whether or not to purchase season two on Prime.
  37. I debated for two minutes, and then cashed in a few dollar credits for skipping fast shipping on books and started season 2.
  38. I am now humbled to realize that I cannot buy season 3 because it isn’t a thing yet.
  39. I don’t know what to watch next, and it’s hard to read when you’re coughing.
  40. I haven’t sat at this computer in over a week.
  41. I know this because my e-mail notification says something about plus 700 new emails.
  42. Yahoo lies.
  43. There are probably 5 real emails, and the rest are people still trying to get me to order for Christmas.
  44. Probably better that I haven’t been on the computer.
  45. God I need a laptop.
  46. Or even, sigh, a tablet.
  47. Tablets are evil.
  48. I haven’t looked at myself in a mirror in days, she said, apropos of nothing.
  49. It’s amazing how many dishes one person can make in three days.
  50. Maybe the dirty dishes made me start to clean because I had run out of tea mugs.
  51. Not really.
  52. There are at least 20 more in the cabinet, but I don’t like any of those when I’m sick.
  53. Coffee tastes really bad when you’re sick.
  54. Tea tastes better with honey and lemon, but . . . well, see 13.
  55. I realized that I was walking around the house with rubber gloves on after I did the dishes.
  56. So I did the floors.
  57. Kidding.
  58. Not really.
  59. So, yeah. That’s been my life for more days than I care to admit.
  60. Corey gets home on Christmas Eve.
  61. Let’s hope I can summon up some energy to drive to the airport.
  62. I’m not sure what day or date it is.
  63. At least the house will be mostly clean because I have once again retreated to my bed (with the clean sheets) and am now rewatching certain episodes of “Orphan Black.”
  64. I can’t believe I had so many things to say.
  65. Tired now. Bye.

If it’s Friday, it must mean leftovers . . .

Friday afternoon. Sunny and cool, 73 degrees.

Woke up in so much pain today, but not my head—my back. I’ve been pretty fortunate as far as my back is concerned, at least in the last few months. The pain has been manageable, that is until today. It’s probably the weather as I haven’t done anything strenuous, mostly because . . . well . . . I can’t.

Corey just covered my back in patches, and I plan to spend most of the day on the heating pad while immersed in another book. I mean, what choice do I have? Hope you enjoy this week’s collection. I had so much to choose from, which is always nice.

More later. Peace.


This week’s headline:

mississippi headline

If Disney princes were real . . .

And my first thought was to wonder if they were still edible . . .

Bob’s Burgers literary burgers:

i know why the cajun burger sings

I Know Why the Caged Bird Singsthe sound and the curry

The Sound and the Fury

Life hacks for your computer:

Had to post this one because it reminds me of something new that Bailey is doing: She sits her butt on the couch and plants her front paws on the back of the seat and looks out the window. I mean, she sits, like a person, not a dog. Weird . . .


Derpy, derp, derp . . .

Is it weird that I can’t wait to try this? Probably . . .

Tell us how you really feel, former bike owner:

Missing Bike

In a picture, there is truth:

Here’s a link for you:

Free books: 100 legal sites to download literature

Here’s another link for you:

                   

Music by Rocca DeLuca, “Everything Hurts”

If it’s Friday, it must mean leftovers . . .

“Oomf indeed . . . So you had the tape, and you want us to believe that you did not look at it. Well, I think we’re all pretty aware of the NFL’s obsessive-compulsive tape-watching addictions . . . you get 24 angles in high-res slow-motion just to see whether or not a man’s knee goes over an imaginary line before his hand crosses a different imaginary line.” ~ Jon Stewart on Ray Rice controversy and NFL response, “The Daily Show” (August 10, 2014)

Friday morning. Showers, cooler temperatures, 75 degrees.

Sleepus interruptus once again. I hope it doesn’t take me a week to get used to Corey being gone before I can fall asleep. Had dreams, remember singing at one point, but don’t remember details. Very sick last night, unexpected/unexplained purging. It felt like food poisoning, except I hadn’t eaten all day because I forgot. Nerves?

Oh well . . .

Anyway, sorry I missed last week’s leftovers, but the truth is that I actually only had one item set aside, so you really didn’t miss anything. Here’s hoping that this week’s offering makes up for last week’s dearth of posts. Perhaps an overflowing of posts, a veritable plethora . . .

Oh well . . .

No comment needed:

No comment wanted:

Fox and Friends prove once again that they are clueless after commenting on the Ray Price domestic abuse video was released by TMZ (I’m not posting the video of the assault as it needs no more publicity). According to the Huffington Post, “The footage, captured in February in the elevator of the Revel Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, shows Rice knock Janay Palmer off her feet with a blow to the head”:

Regarding Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice punching his wife in an elevator, Fox and Friends cast focused on the victims, once again: “Without giving many details about the assault, the hosts quickly began comparing the incident to other cases of domestic violence among celebrities. But rather than putting any kind of blame on the abuser, the co-hosts pointed the finger at the women.”

Co-host Brian Kilmeade’s comment was this: “I think the message is, take the stairs.”

Seriously, Kilmeade? I think the message is that you are a whole lot of stupid, with shades of moron on top . . .

They need to take a page out of VP Joe Biden’s book:

It’s never, never, never the woman’s fault. No man has a right to raise a hand to a woman. No means no. […] The one regret I have is we call it domestic violence as if it’s a domesticated cat. It is the most vicious form of violence there is, because not only the physical scars are left, the psychological scars that are left. This whole culture for so long has put the onus on the woman. What were you wearing? What did you say? What did you do to provoke? That is never the appropriate question. (Interview with Tamron Hall, August 9, 2014)

Does knowing this make them taste better?

 

 

JK Rowling owns Twitter:

@jk_rowling once u revealed Dumbledore was homosexual I stopped being a fan. Nice how u blindsided us with that one. Enjoy your billion $.

@halfelven55ff I advise you to start following Brian Souter at once. He’s much more your kind of person.

This is actually a thing, a real thing, for those who want to look like Hannibal Lecter:

Useless Inventions 4 - https://www.facebook.com/diplyofficialA Lipstick Assistant

From Cake Wrecks: What the Bride ordered, and what she actually received:

ordered

received

ordered

received

Now that’s an ingenious license plate:

I’ve seen dogs do a lot of things, but dancing to hip hop is a new one for me . . .

From George Takei’s tumblr:

 Wouldn’t it be cool to look out your bedroom window and see this?

Artvin Province, Beyazsu Yaylası (Highpasture), Türkiye

I luuuuv this story:

And finally, since I opened the week with information on Suicide Prevention Week, I thought that I’d close with a success story:

If it’s Friday, it must mean leftovers . . .

Welcome to this Friday’s edition of leftovers. I’ve gone to great lengths to assimilate tidbits from the interwebs for your viewing and reading pleasure. I highly recommend a dry white wine to accompany this week’s dose of snark and sass. Please sit back, turn off your cell phones, and enjoy . . .

This week’s headline:

“Did you just ‘He who smelt it, dealt it’ racism? Did you really?” ~ Jon Stewart, “The Daily Show” (8-26-14)

Watch it:

One more headline on world issues because it really helps to put things in perspective:

“I hate when women wear the wrong foundation color, it might be the worst thing on the planet when they wear their makeup too light.” ~ Kim Kardashian, world-renowned spokesperson for everything from the asinine to the insipid

Since I missed it on Tuesday:

I told you, Corey.

LMAO:
Photo: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?

Oxford comma all the way!

So this is where those crop circles originated:

This is actually a thing, and it costs about five bucks:

public toilet

 

How cool is this?

Being passive aggressive at work:

So I found this site called Cake Wrecks . . . almost as good as the bad tweets:

That’s right . . . imagine being able to spell achieve . . .

Um . . . too literal?

Obviously I cannot draw any puzzle pieces, but I can draw your request for some instead . . .

Apparently, someone got a promotion, and the request was for a ladder with a stick person climbing up . . . oh my . . .

Silly, silly man. Never tell a woman what to do . . .

Do yourself a favor, go here and read all of the comments and questions on this baby. Just don’t do it with a mouthful of coffee . . . very hard to get off screen . . .

Samsung UN85S9 85-Inch 4K Ultra HD 120Hz 3D Smart LED TV

Samsung UN85S9 85-Inch 4K Ultra HD 120Hz 3D Smart LED TV
$39,997.99

And finally, reaffirmation that love, honor, and respect still hold sway in some corners of the world:

“I come from a place where breath, eyes and memory are one, a place from which you carry your past like the hair on your head. Where women return to their children as butterflies or as tears in the eyes of the statues that their daughters pray to.” ~ Edwidge Danticat, from Breath, Eyes, Memory

Rockwell Kent illustrations from Moby Dick

Rockwell Kent Illustration from Moby Dick (published by The Modern Library, 1982)


“I wish you what I wish
myself: hard questions
and the nights to answer them,
the grace of disappointment
and the right to seem the fool
for justice. That’s enough.
Cowards might ask for more.
Heroes have died for less.” ~ Samuel Hazo, from “To a Commencement of Scoundrels”

Wednesday afternoon. Partly cloudy, 80 degrees.

This morning after I went back to bed to try to get some lost sleep I had a very strange dream in which I was on vacation on an island with a bunch of rich people who I didn’t know all that well. I decided I really needed to fly home, so I went to the airport and made arrangements. Apparently, I was flying in a private cabin that was stocked with liquor. I didn’t even ask how much it would cost. Obviously, a dream.

So I’ve realized something: I like doing these posts that contain content from other sites. I like them, so there’s no reason why I should stop doing them.

I had thought that it meant that I wasn’t being true to myself because I wasn’t writing the content, but you know what? I can write a nice introduction and still share with you some of the amazing things I find on these interwebs, things that make all of the other banal crap just fade away.

So there’s that . . .

Also, I have to do a lot of cleaning today because Corey comes home tomorrow. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to make his flight today, which means one less day for us to have together. I realized last night that I’m spending half of my time alone now, and to be truthful, I really haven’t figured out how I feel about that.

Anyway, enjoy.

More later. Peace.

                   

The small things that are really big things:

Something beautiful from beauty // terror:

Always remember . . .

                   

The Conversations I Remember Most

The way a sweet cake wants
a little salt in it,
or blackness a little gray nearby to be seen,
or a pot unused remains good for boiling water,

the conversations I remember most
are the ones that were interrupted.

Wait, you say, running after them,
I forgot to ask—

Night rain, they answer.
Silver on the fire-thorn’s red berries.

~ Jane Hirshfield

                   

Music by Ruu Campbell, “The Call”

If it’s Friday, it must mean leftovers . . .

Okay. So the week ended a bit better than it began, but I had absolutely no time to schedule or post, hence all of the backposts.

Hoping next week treats me and everyone around me better.

More later. Peace.

                   

This week’s headline:

It’s illegal to pee in an elevator in Singapore, and some elevators have a Urine Detection Device which detects urine odors, sets off an alarm, and closes the elevator doors until the police arrive

If I wrote directions for things, they would be very similar to this:

Love this!

So Norway’s government is actually thinking about the needs of its population? How logical.

 

And in this week’s stupid tweets, I give a few examples of why I will never again teach English in a public school as it is blatantly apparent that far too much of the general population is suffering from a terminal case of stoopid . . .

Stupid tweets—the Name Game version:

funny dumb tweet branco barner

Seriously? Barraco Barner? And what’s our president doing with other countries? Sheesh. The nerve.

funny dumb tweet holocaust

Oh my. Heaven forbid you should learn about that stupid hollow cost thingy whachamajigger . . .

funny dumb tweet rosa parks gay

That Rosetta Stone sure was a great woman, and she really had a way with words and languages, too.

Stupid tweets—Where in the world version, or Is geography a country or a planet?

dumbest twitter questions new england nfl

The nerve of that other country New England.

funny dumb tweet beyonce

I have no words . . .

2013thAmerica

Why yes, that it a bit hard to believe . . .

Stupid tweets—from the Why yes, we do belong to Mensa version:

Time Heals Wombs

Stupid tweets: Hey! Look what we can do with 140 characters (139 too many for these people):

RT @AnaCarolina_NYC: Isn’t the magna carta the ship Christopher Columbus came to America on?

RT @tsloww: death is invegetable!!!

RT @DCJport: That as rude but I rose above miyah anjalou

and here are a few pseudo homophones that I culled just because of the blatant abuse of the English langweej:

Philly Menyong (filet mignon)

Triple Aunt Andre (triple entendre)

anugoracetion (inauguration)

mature demeter (mature demeanor)

enter lectual conversation (intellectual, anyone?)

synonym rolls (did you mean cinnamon?)

down sendrum (no, please, no, I mean, really?)

Someone has entirely too much time on his hands:

Look! This here. This proves that dogs have incredible intellect and compassion:

If it’s Friday, it must mean leftovers . . .

It’s so much cuter when a dog does it:

There’s a word for that:

So perfect:

Harry Potter Scott Pilgrim style:

Incompetent assassins:

In the “priceless comic reflecting real life” category:

Photo: Even my Summer Fridays aren't as unproductive.

It’s more than a little disconcerting that an Opelika-based ministry in Auburn, Alabama chose to use a quote by Hitler on their billboard:

View image on Twitter

My kids need to work here:

Thrift store art repurposed by artist David Irvine:

Pop Culture 4 - https://www.facebook.com/diplyofficial

Hooray for people like this!

And finally, a PSA from Volkswagen: