“I pretty much try to state in a state of constant confusion just because of the expression that it leaves on my face.” ~ Johnny Depp

Ramona’s Pino Grigio Crazy-Eyed Stare

 

“It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the wine, or any other reason.” ~ Latin Proverb

So last night was my Real Housewives of NY fix, and boy was it crazy. Ramona: “Pinot Grigio? Where’s the Pinot Grigio?” But what makes each episode truly enjoyable is reading the next day’s synopsis by Richard Lawson on Gawker.com. He says it so much better than I ever could, so I’m sharing just a bit of it with you today.

I couldn’t have said it better myself . . .

After that there was sort of a lull and Bethenny and Alex made fun of Kelly, which was a great little scene. The island sky was purple behind them and they were just laughing on a yacht, which, as we all know, makes laughing better. But of course it had to get ruined again. Ramona went streaking by, yelling “HiI’mmarryingpinotgrigioandI’mgoin’totheHootersboatbyeeee,” and then Sonja and Kelly came bumbling up after her. Alex decided to go to the Hooters boat (moored next door) with Ramona, because she though it was a boat full of owls, and that sounded interesting, so that left Bethenny, Sonja, and Kelly alone. They traveled down to the bowels of the boat and sat in a living room area. Sonja was hilariously wine-drunk. Her eyelids were even more purple and hooded than usual, and she was doing that sort of hand-fitzing drunk talk. That’s really hard to describe, but like you know when people are drunk and they sort make these quick, dismissive movements with their hands while saying something, and usually they talk kind of fast. Like, “But forgetaboutit, you know, iss fine, [hand fitz].” She was that lovely kind of drunk. So she was tottering over there on an ottoman and Bethenny looked like she wanted to shoot herself because she was pregnant and couldn’t drink (why on Earth did you go then B???) and Kelly was just marching in place to the tune of the Bolivian national anthem. And then, of course, a fight broke out.

More later. Peace.

“Yellow Submarine,” by The Beatles