Reblogged from History Receipts Itself (comments in brackets are from original post):
Some of these are groan-worthy, but make you think, nonetheless . . .
1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name?
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
8. What was the President’s name in 1975?
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in second place, what place would you be in now?
10.Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”?
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
Here are the Answers
1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name?
Answer: Johnny, of course
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
Answer: Meat. (I know. I groaned . . .)
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn’t discovered yet. [You’re not very good at this are you?]
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?
Answer: Incorrectly
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere.
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
Answer: You can’t take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.
8. What was the President’s Name in 1975?
Answer: Same as is it now—Barack Obama [Oh, come on …..]
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in second place, what place would you be in now?
Answer: You would be in second place. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first.
10. Which is correct to say, “The yolk of the egg are white” or “The yolk of the egg is white”?
Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh]
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.
Thank you for that! Now Bobby and I can go off and enjoy our day, smug in the knowledege that we were eleven for eleven and you’ve got to get up even earlier than we do to pull the wool over the sheep we’re about to go out and meet.
Too funny. I missed the butcher question because my immediate reaction was, “Ack! Math!”
ROFLMAO! Thanks for the much needed laugh, and for another great Tumblr site to waste time at too! 😀