“How odd I can have all this inside me and to you it’s just words.” ~ David Foster Wallace, from The Pale King

bird and owl

                   

Saturday weirdness . . .

A flaky end to an off-kilter week. Corey came home yesterday. Had Olivia on Wednesday and Thursday. Kept thinking yesterday was Saturday, so today is Friday? Didn’t check my e-mail for two days, so missed the one from Corey saying he would be in port on Friday. Kept thinking he would be here Sunday. Mother’s Day and anniversary quickly approaching and haven’t gotten cards. Very, very weird dreams about a plague outbreak in Corey’s hometown which turned into a cruise ship. Got kicked off the cruise ship because the captain didn’t like us. Woke up coughing. Couldn’t find my regular green tea mochi at the international market. Think I have an off-batch of Corona; that ever happen to you that the beer tastes slightly off? Olivia’s first tooth is almost through, and she pulled herself to a stand this morning, which means everything on tables is now up for grabs. One of Brett’s best friends is graduating college today, and I’ve known this kid since he was born, so I’m feeling incredibly old. Got a letter from health insurance that they consider trigger shots experimental. What the? I’ve been getting trigger shots for almost a decade to great positive effect. Hate health insurance. Neither of my sons will be home for Mother’s Day. What did I expect?  Anyway, here’s a little collection of weirdness from me to you:

First, Jimmy Fallon and John Krasinski have a lip-sync competition, and the results are epic.

Robin Williams still rocks . . .

BBC show “Vicious”

Banana bunkers?
banana bunkers
Remember this?

A little Fry

and finally . . . time for a nap . . .

                   

The Bouquet

Between me and the world
you are a bay, a sail
the faithful ends of a rope
you are a fountain, a wind,
a shrill childhood cry.

Between me and the world
you are a picture frame, a window
a field covered in wildflowers
you are a breath, a bed,
a night that keeps the stars company.

Between me and the world,
you are a calendar, a compass
a ray of light that slips through the gloom
you are a biographical sketch, a book mark
a preface that comes at the end.

between me and the world
you are a gauze curtain, a mist
a lamp shining in my dreams
you are a bamboo flute, a song without words
a closed eyelid carved in stone.

Between me and the world
you are a chasm, a pool
an abyss plunging down
you are a balustrade, a wall
a shield’s eternal pattern.

~ Bei Dao

“Abercrombie is only interested in people with washboard stomachs who look like they’re about to jump on a surfboard.” ~ Robin Lewis, co-author of The New Rules of Retail

Mike Jeffries Abercrombie & Fitch CEO

                   

Friday leftovers . . .

This guy , Michael Jeffries (CEO of Abercombrie & Fitch), needs to be bitch-slapped—pronto. Even though the above comments were made in a 2006 interview with Salon, Jeffries stands by them today.

Great. Let’s perpetuate the myth that to be popular you must be a certain size, look a certain way, wear certain clothes. I am so tired of this crap. So tired of a world that plants seeds of doubt in young girls and boys and then fosters those seeds with slanted, biased media infusions.

He looks like Gary Busey, for god’s sakes. On purpose—For example, ask him why he dyes his hair blond, “Dude, I’m not an old fart who wears his jeans up at his shoulders.” He’s 68. Another prime example of plastic surgery gone wrong on a man . . .

According to the Salon article,

His biggest obsession, though, is realizing his singular vision of idealized all-American youth. He wants desperately to look like his target customer (the casually flawless college kid), and in that pursuit he has aggressively transformed himself from a classically handsome man into a cartoonish physical specimen: dyed hair, perfectly white teeth, golden tan, bulging biceps, wrinkle-free face, and big, Angelina Jolie lips. But while he can’t turn back the clock, he can — and has — done the next best thing, creating a parallel universe of beauty and exclusivity where his attractions and obsessions have made him millions, shaped modern culture’s concepts of gender, masculinity and physical beauty, and made over himself and the world in his image, leaving them both just a little more bizarre than he found them.

Another source states that Jeffries “also has a discriminatory hiring policy, which has been challenged on several occasions. A company e-mail revealed the presence of a “measuring system” for employees: they were ordered to perform military-style exercises while at work so that they would stay “thin and beautiful.” If the employees failed to meet the standard, they would be “punished” with extra squats and pushups.PHOTO: Tourists outside Abercrombie & Fitch owned store

What is so perfidious about Jeffries’ marketing strategies is that not only does he perpetuate them within the company’s campus (headquarters), but he also attempts to carry these unrealistic standards from the boardroom into real life settings, like airplanes. A lawsuit was filed in 2010 by corporate jet pilot Michael Stephen Bustin, 55, who claims. “he was fired in December 2009 because of his age. In the case Jeffries, 68, is being accused of age discrimination” (ABCnews.com).

According to Bloomberg News, the toady CEO’s 47-page aircraft standards dictates the following:

  • Male flight crew members aboard the company’s Gulfstream G550 jet must wear A&F polo shirts, boxer briefs, flip-flops and a “spritz” of the A&F cologne
  • As passengers board the aircraft for return flights, the 1985 Phil Collins hit “Take Me Home” must be piped over the cabin PA
  • The executive’s three dogs – named as Ruby, Trouble and Sammy – had specific seats based on which was traveling
  • Staff must wear black gloves when handling silverware and white gloves for setting the table
  • Flight crew members are also banned from wearing coats unless the temperature falls below 50 degrees
  • Airline crew must not expose the toilet paper nor fold the end square
  • When [passengers] make a request, respond by saying ‘no problem.’ This should be used in place of phrases like, ‘Sure’ or, ‘Just a minute’
Oklahoma City Thunder cheerleader Kelsey Williams referred to as “chunky” by blogger

Someone needs to remind Jeffries that he isn’t Jay-Z or Beyonce. Personally, I still maintain that a good bitch-slap is called for . . .

Man, what kind of world do we live in, anyway? Apparently, one in which this woman → can be referred to as chunky, you know that completely tactless word used to slam a woman for not being . . . well, for not being A&F worthy, I suppose. Sheesh.

More later. Peace.

Music by Esthero, “Never Gonna Let You Go” (man, I love this song, and I’ve finally found the perfect copy to accompany it)