Things you notice when you’re sick . . .

How the Grinch Stole Christmas! - christmas-movies Screencap

  1. Swallowing grapes is not so easy.
  2. Making a cup of tea takes a long time when you throw away the tea bag and keep the foil packet.
  3. Knocking said cup of tea over immediately after sitting it down becomes a job for tomorrow.
  4. The dogs decide they need to go outside one an hour, probably just being good care-givers and making sure you can still move.
  5. You (I) can, but very, very slowly.
  6. Chocolate at 2 in the morning doesn’t taste nearly as good as it usually does.
  7. Mucinex liquid was invented by the same descendants of Marquis de Sade who invented the original Nyquil.
  8. If you are able to swallow it, Mucinex feels warm all the way down your esophagus.
  9. This is reassuring as I was pretty certain I had coughed up my esophagus on Friday night.
  10. Cold and flu medications always stop working in the middle of the night.
  11. Alka-Seltzer cold and flu medication needs to be dissolved in hot water and then chased by bourbon.
  12. Just kidding . . . not really . . .
  13. It would have been honey and bourbon and lemon instead of the medicine, but I only had the bourbon.
  14. I switched from second to first person somewhere along the way.
  15. Whatever.
  16. The Christmas cards I started on so eagerly and full of self-satisfaction over a week ago laid on my dining room table until I unearthed them this afternoon.
  17. I unearthed them this afternoon because I felt better and decided to clean.
  18. I always do this.
  19. It always hurts afterwards.
  20. A lot.
  21. It all began because I smelled something, and I wasn’t really sure if it was (pardon the total truth here) my dog’s bad gas, my feet, or the bedroom in general, having been a sick room for three days.
  22. So I needed to change the sheets.
  23. Which meant that I needed to do laundry.
  24. Which took four trips from the hamper to the garage.
  25. I do not have a large house.
  26. It’s a ranch, and the only stairs are in the garage.
  27. I still almost tripped on the stairs.
  28. I remembered to wash the bath mat that I used to sop up the tea I spilled yesterday.
  29. Or was it the day before?
  30. So I finished the Christmas cards and put them out for the mail only to notice that the UPS guy had delivered the shipment of dog food.
  31. It’s a heavy box, and I had used my daily quota of energy on useless things like cleaning and bathing.
  32. So the dog food is still on the porch getting rained on.
  33. I could so not care about the dog food.
  34. I did use my time in bed wisely: I started watching season one of “Orphan Black” on Amazon Prime (connected to my television, woo hoo) on Saturday.
  35. I think it was Saturday.
  36. I finished Sunday morning, and then I debated about whether or not to purchase season two on Prime.
  37. I debated for two minutes, and then cashed in a few dollar credits for skipping fast shipping on books and started season 2.
  38. I am now humbled to realize that I cannot buy season 3 because it isn’t a thing yet.
  39. I don’t know what to watch next, and it’s hard to read when you’re coughing.
  40. I haven’t sat at this computer in over a week.
  41. I know this because my e-mail notification says something about plus 700 new emails.
  42. Yahoo lies.
  43. There are probably 5 real emails, and the rest are people still trying to get me to order for Christmas.
  44. Probably better that I haven’t been on the computer.
  45. God I need a laptop.
  46. Or even, sigh, a tablet.
  47. Tablets are evil.
  48. I haven’t looked at myself in a mirror in days, she said, apropos of nothing.
  49. It’s amazing how many dishes one person can make in three days.
  50. Maybe the dirty dishes made me start to clean because I had run out of tea mugs.
  51. Not really.
  52. There are at least 20 more in the cabinet, but I don’t like any of those when I’m sick.
  53. Coffee tastes really bad when you’re sick.
  54. Tea tastes better with honey and lemon, but . . . well, see 13.
  55. I realized that I was walking around the house with rubber gloves on after I did the dishes.
  56. So I did the floors.
  57. Kidding.
  58. Not really.
  59. So, yeah. That’s been my life for more days than I care to admit.
  60. Corey gets home on Christmas Eve.
  61. Let’s hope I can summon up some energy to drive to the airport.
  62. I’m not sure what day or date it is.
  63. At least the house will be mostly clean because I have once again retreated to my bed (with the clean sheets) and am now rewatching certain episodes of “Orphan Black.”
  64. I can’t believe I had so many things to say.
  65. Tired now. Bye.

Sunday afternoon . . .

“Christmas is our time to be aware of what we lack, of who’s not home.” ~ John Irving, from A Prayer for Owen Meany

Sunday night. Less windy and colder, 47 degrees.

Okay, so it’s not exactly afternoon. I got distracted by the sound of my computer crashing over and over . . .

Anyway, I had set aside the following clips to share with you in my attempt to put myself squarely in a somewhat festive mood for the season. After all, I’m only going to be doing all of the lead up to Christmas mostly by myself as Corey won’t be getting home until Christmas eve. So I’ve told myself that I’m going to start this week, try to do a little each day, but the reality is with having Olivia, I never know how my days will turn out.

And truthfully, while I associate my father with Thanksgiving, I associate my mother with Christmas, and this is the first one without her, and I’m trying, really, really trying not to think too much.

So in the spirit of trying . . .

I will admit that I’m one of those people who cries at Christmas Commercials. My favorite was always the Miller “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” sleigh ride. I used to weep buckets. I’ve never been able to find a decent video of it, but I keep hoping. John Lewis (UK) commercials are always wonderful, and this year’s just slays me (it warrants repeating). And then there are the Coke commercials. Remember “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”?

The Stella Artois company did something truly amazing with their commercials this year. Here are two from their “Give Beautifully” series:

More later. Peace.

                   

An Old Man Performs Alchemy on His Doorstep at Christmastime

Cream of Tartar, commonly used to lift meringue and
angel food cake, is actually made from crystallized fine wine.

After they stopped singing for him,
the carolers became transparent in the dark,
and he stepped into their emptiness to say
he lost his wife last week, please
sing again. Their voices filled with gold.
Last week, his fedora nodded hello to me
on the sidewalk, and the fragile breath
of kindness that passed between us
made something sweet of a morning
that had frightened me for no earthly reason.
Surely, you know this by another name:
the mysteries we intake, exhale, could be
sitting on our shelves, left on the bus seat
beside us. Don’t wash your hands.
You fingered them at the supermarket,
gave them to the cashier; intoxicated tonight,
she’ll sing in the streets. Think of the old man.
Who knew he kept the secret of levitation,
transference, and lightness filling a winter night?
— an effortless, crystalline powder
That could almost seem transfigured from loss.

~ Anna George Meek

“A man’s work is nothing but this slow trek to rediscover, through the detours of art, those two or three great and simple images in whose presence his heart first opened.” ~ Albert Camus

Camus autumn


“Life can be magnificent and overwhelming—that is the whole tragedy. Without beauty, love, or danger it would almost be easy to live.” ~ Albert Camus

Monday afternoon. Rainy and warm, 74 degrees.

I have an appointment with my pain doctor today, am expecting a lot of trigger point injections in my back. Then I have to find a turkey, which I’m hoping isn’t too big of a deal on the Monday before Thanksgiving. Actually, I have to find two smallish turkeys: one for Mike to smoke, and one for Corey to deep fry. We’re trying something different this year. We shall see . . .

Anyway, not a lot of time to put together anything in any way coherent, so I thought I’d marry Camus and Bonnard in a lovely blend of autumn bliss. Enjoy . . .

Pierre Bonnard Autumn colon The Fruit Pickers 1912 oil on canvas
“Autumn: The Fruit Pickers” (1912, oil on canvas)
by Pierre Bonnard

“For the moment at least, the waves’ endless crashing against the shore came toward me through a space dancing with golden pollen. Sea, landscape, silence, scents of this earth, I would drink my fill of a scent-laden life, sinking my teeth into the world’s fruit, golden already, overwhelmed by the feeling of its strong, sweet juice flowing on my lips. No, it was neither I nor the world that counted, but solely the harmony and silence that gave birth to the love between us. A love I was not foolish enough to claim for myself alone, proudly aware that I shared it with a whole race born in the sun and sea,alive and spirited, drawing greatness from its simplicity, and upright on the beaches, smiling in complicity at the brilliance of its skies.”

~ Albert Camus, from “Nuptials at Tipasa”

                   

Music by Gregory Alan Isakov, “Light Year”