“I can’t go on, I’ll go on.” ~ Samuel Beckett, from I Can’t Go On, I’ll Go On: A Samuel Beckett Reader


“We can regard our life as a uselessly disturbing episode in the blissful repose of nothingness.” ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

The car saga continues. I was awakened by it. I tried to reason with it. I tried to be logical and factual with it. All to no avail. I was shut down, and so I made a bargain with my ever-patient spouse that if he would pick up my mother up the dealer after she gave back her car, I would do just about anything else, so desperate was to extract myself from this situation.

He did, almost. He got a flat tire on the way, and before he could fix it or I could contact my mother, she called to say not to pick her up because she had settled everything and was going to keep her car . . . Really? No way. I could hardly wait for the details. Actually, I considered leaving town indefinitely so that I wouldn’t have to hear the details. No, really.

Anyway, my day so far.

Then suddenly, while I was sitting here trying to figure out how to delete the last few days disappear from my long-term memory banks, I had a vague memory of some long-ago television show about a mother and a car. I did a little digging, and presto: “My Mother the Car.” I have no idea what this show was about, and I don’t really need to know what it was about. What matters is that there was a show, and a theme song, and it was the 60’s, and there was a van Dyke brother in it. and a mother who turned into a car, or something like that . . .

So I have arrived at this conclusion: The only thing that makes sense in life right now is “The Daily Show,” and that’s only because they don’t even have to try too hard to be funny about the news because the news is naturally bizarre without any kind of ridiculousness being piled on . . .

“Look, you think Obamacare’s a big enough threat to this country that you need to shut down the government over it? Fine. Own it.” ~ Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

I don’t know what’s going on with my blog. All of my fonts look weird, and the hulu edit I did for the clips below doesn’t seem to be working; i.e. the first video should be 8 minutes and 6 seconds long………

“What Do You Hate More: Poverty Or Obama?” ~ Jon Stewart to Republicans

[hulu http://www.hulu.com/watch/543958 start_time=03 end_time=486]

[hulu http://www.hulu.com/watch/543113 start_time=545 end_time=880]

Obamacare: Nazis, Kutcher, and Cruz . . . oh my!

I am so sick of those fallacious commercials in which someone is looking earnestly into the camera and telling the world how Obamacare is going to ruin their lives, keep their child from getting necessary medical care, and otherwise making bald-faced statements not of fact. Yes, Obamacare is not perfect. Yes, it could use some serious tweaking. But no, it’s not going to send our elderly to death camps, and no, it’s not going to keep you from getting the treatment you want/need from the physicians you choose.

What it is going to do is help people like me and my son Brett who have pre-existing conditions.

And by the way, all of those claims that Obamacare has led to this crisis or that crisis? How is that possible when it doesn’t even begin to take effect until October 1st of this year? And why, oh why, are the Nazis always dragged into any Republican argument.

Bah, I say. Bah.

[hulu http://www.hulu.com/watch/537646 start_time=07 end_time=747]

“He broke the Eww-O-Meter.” ~ John Oliver, “The Daily Show”

Note: I’m not sure why Hulu video isn’t appearing in the text. It was there in the draft but then reverted to the link. Sorry.

"He broke the Eww-O-Meter."


If it’s Friday, it must mean leftovers . . .

Nooooooo . . . please . . . not yet . . . 2016 is three years away . . .

From The Huffington Post:

John Oliver tore into Chris Matthews on Thursday’s “The Daily Show” for participating in the what he called the media’s ridiculous speculation over the 2016 presidential election.

Oliver begged the media to hold its premature 2016 speculation till Jon Stewart returned to the show in September. He also ran a clip of Matthews observing the new hairstyle and dark suit Hillary Clinton wore when she lunched with President Obama earlier this week. Matthews said that he knew “he shouldn’t talk about her looks,” but that the former secretary of state looked “ready for primetime” and “presidential as hell.”

“How have you made the word ‘presidential’ sound pervy?” Oliver asked. “Just a little tip to Chris Matthews: when you say you shouldn’t talk about something, why not not actually talk about it? That way, everyone wins!”

And speaking of John Oliver—and I was—here’s a clip from his epic skewering of San Diego’s slimeball mayor Bob Filner. This guy Filner puts Anthony Weiner to shame, and that’s saying something.

From The Raw Story:

Oliver prefaced his attack on Mayor Bob Filner by warning his viewers to apologize to their skin, “because it is not just going to crawl, it is going to spider-walk across the ceiling like Linda Blair in The Exorcist.”

Eight women have accused San Diego’s mayor of sexual harassment. Filner allegedly grabbed and french kissed his female subordinates without their consent, touched his female subordinates on the buttocks without their consent, grabbed his female subordinates’ breasts without their consent, “slobbered” on his female subordinates without their consent, and asked his female subordinates to come to work without underwear on.

“This man is revolting,” Oliver remarked. “He should probably be arrested. He is at the very least unfit for public office. Please tell me that unlike Anthony Weiner, Filner knows when to quit.”

Filner has admitted to sexual harassing women but refused to resign. Instead, he said he would participate in sexual harassment training and change his behavior. Filner also wants the people of San Diego to pay for his legal fees in the sexual harassment lawsuit against him.

“I think he’s better off trying to raise the money on Prickstarter,” Oliver concluded.

“All we do is pass through here, the best way we can.” ~ Barbara Crooker, from “Sometimes, I Am Startled Out of Myself”

Edvard Munch Winter, Kragero 1912 oil on canvas
“Winter, Kragero” (1912, oil on canvas)
by Edvard Munch


“I have a deeply hidden and inarticulate desire for something beyond the daily life.” ~ Virgina Woolf

Saturday evening. Drizzle and cold, 45 degrees.

Not feeling that much better, but feel the need to write. I’ve turned down the brightness on my monitor to 50 percent, and at first I thought that might be bad for my eyes, but then I realized what a ridiculous concern that was as my eyes are terrible anyway, and at least the glare from the screen wasn’t so painful.

Ivan Shishkin City Roofs in Winter nd
“City Roofs in Winter” (nd, medium unknown)
by Ivan Shishkin

Today I awoke with a headache again, but very, very dizzy as well. Yesterday I had Corey give me one of those wonderful new self-injections of Sumavel (sumatriptan). Let me pause here: that wonderful air forced delivery method? Jay-zus it hurts, much, much worse than a needle. Give me a needle any day. The first time we did my thigh. Yesterday we used my belly for the injection site, which didn’t hurt quite as much, probably because there is more fat on my belly than on my thigh. Anyway, the headache went away, but the nausea and dizziness . . . egads.

I don’t know if I can do this new regimen, but I’m willing to give everything a bit longer for my personal test period. I have an appointment in about a month for Botox injections for my migraines. I guess I’ll know by then if this new combination of meds is or isn’t working.

“I didn’t know what to do, there was a feeling of time running out and a loss of momentum, of opportunities wasted.” ~ Jon McGregor, from If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things

Last night I had very strange dreams. In one of them, I was at a department store buying Christmas presents. First I was in the music section, and I was looking for classical cds, only there were still albums on the shelf, you know, vinyl, and I was very confused. Then I wanted to go to the shoe department, but I ended up in the jewelry, and I found all of these great buys on watches. I was picking out watches with different face shapes and different colored bands, but when the associate wrung up my purchase, it came to over $6,000, and I knew that I didn’t have that much in the bank. So I asked what had cost so much, and she said that she charged me $34.95 for each watch, but I told her they were only $9.95 and $13.95, and there was no way I had bought enough to hit six thousand.

Gustave Caillebotte View of Roofs paren snow effect paren or Roofs under Snow 1878 oil on canvas
“View of Roofs (Snow Effect) or Roofs under Snow” (1878, oil on canvas)
by Gustave Caillebotte

Very strange. And then it turned into a Walking Dead dream, and there was a cave, and some kind of sea creature like the Creature from the Black Lagoon and two turtles, and a character from the Harry Potter stories.

Is it any wonder that I awaken with headaches each morning? My brain does not rest during sleep; rather, it appears to go into some kind of overdrive, warp speed of thoughts and ideas, if you will. So greeting the day with pain seems to be the price I pay for a very active, but strange, dream state, and even though I would rather not wake up with pain, I also know that I really don’t want to have boring dreams.

“Y. That perfect letter. The wishbone, fork in the road, empty wineglass. The question we ask over and over.” ~ Marjorie Celona, from “Y”

So thanks for hanging in during this latest bout of maladies. I’m still trying to keep the content lively and relevant. You would be amazed what pops up when you enter such a generic search term as headaches in Google images.

Arkhip Kuindzhi, Roofs Winter 1876
“Roofs. Winter” (1876, medium unknown)
by Arkhip Kuindzhi

I heard from Titirangi Storyteller that she cannot watch the Hulu videos that I post, which are usually my selections from “The Daily Show.” Does anyone know if Hulu has country restrictions? It never occurred to me that the ability to stream a video might be geographically limited, which just reflects my ignorance about these things. In my mind, everything, I mean absolutely everything is connected and interconnected now so that we can all call up the same information, have the same access to things, can link and unlink to our hearts’ collective desires, but I guess not so much.

That being said, I still don’t understand why, with the being that is the world wide web, some parts work everywhere and still others only work somewhere. Obviously, I do not have a technical mind and cannot begin to understand concepts such as coding, applications, and such, and why, when I give it any thought at all, I am so impressed by those individuals for whom such oblique ideas in my way of thinking are as easy as the two column in the times table in their way of thinking.

And perhaps the previous paragraph would best be left alone to suffer its convolution quietly.

“I have days of illuminations and fevers. I have days when the music in my head stops. Then I mend socks, prune trees, can fruits, polish furniture. But while I am doing this I feel I am not living.” ~ Anaïs Nin, from The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934

I had so many ideas on what I should write about today, but none of them are here at the moment. Could be they are repressed behind my squinty eyes, my half-hearted attempts to block out the whiteness of the page on which I am composing. I will not use the word creating as I don’t believe that I am being very creative here at the moment, merely composing, moving from one word to the next in an attempt to get to the full stop.

Mstislav Dobuzhinsky Kaunas Houses at Daukanto Street 1931
“Kaunas Houses at Kaukanto Street” (1931, medium unknown)
by Mstislav Dobuzhinsky

All of which is to say that I fear that I do not have much to say, or perhaps I have something to say but do not currently have the wherewithal with which to say it, and all of this reminds me of this terrible phase I went through in the 8th grade in which I composed these tortured missives that began with the following: “If today were tomorrow yesterday, then tomorrow today will be yesterday, and . . .” and I would follow it with any manner of nonsense and then, very pleased with myself, I would force Bobby (one of my male friends) to read these bizarre creations, and because he was nice and he tolerated me, he would read them or at least pretend to read them, perhaps raise his eyebrows, and only occasionally tell me how weird I was.

And I suppose what I’m getting at here is saying thank you for not mentioning very often how very weird I can be.

“Her mind was like a wound exposed to dry in the air.” ~ Virginia Woolf, from The Voyage Out

And the sad thing is, really, that I would just like to sit in bed and eat some Ben and Jerry’s as my eyes aren’t working well enough to start a new book, and I’m craving chocolate, specifically in ice cream form, preferably something with caramel, chocolate, pecans, and maybe peanut butter, but I’m not going to give in to that craving, and before you think I’m being admirable, I will admit that I am not going to give in to that craving only because last night I gave in to my chocolate craving and ate a big box of Raisinets that Corey had put in my Christmas stocking and which I had hid for just such an eventuality. I ate the entire box, and I didn’t give in to my desire to turn over the box and look at the calorie content because that might have prevented me from eating the entire box, and I had already decided that an entire box was called for, especially in light of the week that I have had, and by god I was going to eat it all.

Francis Picabia Roofs of Paris oil on canvas 1900
“Roofs of Paris” (1900, oil on canvas)
by Francis Picabia

And why, oh why, does my list of suggested related posts contain three about being pregnant and having headaches? Un-pregnant women have cravings, too, you know.

Perhaps I should go back to posting videos and reposts from tumblr, eh?

(Don’t know why, but all images are of rooftops in winter.)

More later. Peace.

Music by Muse, “Madness”


More and More

More and more frequently the edges
of me dissolve and I become
a wish to assimilate the world, including
you, if possible through the skin
like a cool plant’s tricks with oxygen
and live by a harmless green burning.

I would not consume
you or ever
finish, you would still be there
surrounding me, complete
as the air.

Unfortunately I don’t have leaves.
Instead I have eyes
and teeth and other non-green
things which rule out osmosis.
So be careful, I mean it,
I give you fair warning:

This kind of hunger draws
everything into its own
space; nor can we
talk it all over, have a calm
rational discussion.

There is no reason for this, only
a starved dog’s logic about bones.

~ Margaret Atwood

Accidental cow tipping and awkward pedestrians . . .

No matter how bad my day has been, the 22 minutes that comprise Jon Stewart’s “Daily Show” always manage to make me laugh out loud. To wit, last night’s epic segment entitled “How I Meteored Your Motherland,” on dash cams in Russian cars . . .


“Their paranoid fear of a possible dystopic future prevents us from addressing our actual dystopic present. We can’t even begin to discuss 30,000 gun deaths that are actually happening in reality every year because a few of us must remain vigilant against Imaginary Hitler.” ~ Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

It’s been a crap day. Writing would only bring out the worst in me. So here’s Jon Stewart on gun control from last night’s show:

And here is part two:

Even with a cold and obviously straining to keep his voice, Stewart delivered the kind of steady, thoughtful, intelligent commentary that has been sorely lacking since December. I was amazed and impressed.

And by the way, don’t go on hiatus again, Stewart. Things always happen when you are gone . . .

More later.