Statue of Virtus with Added Breastplate and Chastity Belt (why just cover the breast?), image by L. Liwag
“A little emasculated mass of inanity.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
Drug war? Not so much. Transportation woes? Not really. Losing military bases? Who cares . . . Unemployment figures? Zzzzzzzz.
Trivial stuff at best, or so it seems. The Virginia Attorney General, Ken Cuccinelli has decided that the best use of his time is to rework the state’s official seal. For those of you who know nothing of our seal, it features Virtus standing victoriously over Tyranny, a male figure on the ground in defeat, his crown fallen from his head. Beneath him is the motto Sic Semper Tyrannis: Thus Always to Tyrants. Virtus, or virtue, is clad in a blue tunic draped over one shoulder, her left breast exposed.
Wait a minute . . . exposed left breast? Arghhh. It’s Janet Jackson all over again. Wardrobe malfunction of epic proportions. What were the Commonwealth’s founding fathers thinking? Why didn’t anyone stop Declaration of Independence signer George Wyethe before he took to exposing body parts? Everyone knows that an exposed left breast on a depiction of a mythical Roman goddess is going to cause unabated lust in all who look upon her. It’s like, well, like Jimmy Carter lusting in his heart. I’ll bet he glimpsed the Virginia seal.
Seems Cuccinelli—the same man who openly questions President Obama’s citizenship, the chief law-enforcement officer who has rescinded protections for gays and lesbians at Virginia universities, the Commonwealth’s legal counsel who claims that homosexuals engage in behavior that is “intrinsically wrong” and offensive to “natural law”—that Cuccinelli, decided that the warrior’s garb was immodest, so he took it upon himself to fix it. Yep, all by himself, no consulting with other people or anything like that.
At a recent meeting, Cuccinelli provided pins to his staff with a brand, spanking-new seal, a better seal, a modest seal on which Virtus’ bare bosom is no longer hanging out there, so to speak. On the new lapel pins Virtus’ bosom is covered by an armored breastplate.
O thank the stars. I may be able to get a good night’s sleep now that that pressing issue has been dealt a firm blow. Who cares about oil spills, car bombs, or balancing budgets? We have modesty once again.
Just a thought, though: Is Cuccinelli going to deal with that whole s&m imagery, you know, woman with weapon standing on supine man?
Heh, heh, heh.
More later. Peace.
“O Happy Day,” from Sister Act 2. Perfect.